Overcoming Approval Addiction

Years ago I heard Joyce Meyer share her testimony about how she overcame approval addiction.  Her testimony  really blessed me so when I found this article online I had to share it.  I hope it encourages you as much as it encouraged me...

by Joyce Meyer

Many people today live a life of desperation—desperate to fit in, desperate to be accepted, and

desperate to be approved of by others. They become addicted to approval. If you or someone you

know has been addicted to approval, you are aware that it is a miserable way to live. You never

know when someone is going to approve or disapprove of you, and just when you think you have

figured out what they want, they change their mind.

WHAT IS APPROVAL ADDICTION?

First of all, an addiction is something that controls people—it is something they feel they cannot

live without, or something they feel driven to do in order to relieve pressure, pain or discomfort of

some kind. Someone addicted to drugs, for instance, will do whatever he needs to in order to get

another “fix” when he begins to feel uncomfortable. Likewise, someone addicted to alcohol will feel

compelled to have a drink when life’s problems begin to rise up and stare him in the face. The

substance that people are addicted to helps relieve their pain momentarily, but then a damaging

controlling cycle starts in their life.

Approval addiction is much the same, but instead of running to drugs, alcohol, gambling, eating or

sex to heal the hurt, they seek people’s approval. When they feel unsure and shaky about

themselves, they look for a “fix”—they seek out someone to comfort them and reassure them

everything is all right and they are acceptable. For example, let’s say a friend invites “Sara” over for

lunch after church, but because of a previous commitment, Sara turns the invitation down. When

Sara is met with disapproval from her friend, she goes against what she knows in her heart she

should do and changes her plans; she accepts the invitation just to gain her friend’s approval.

How can you tell if you may be addicted to approval? Stop and ask yourself a couple of simple

questions: “What do I run to and what do I look for when I feel insecure?” “What is on my mind

most of the time?” When a person is addicted to something, it is on their mind most of the time. The

greater the addiction, the more that thing consumes their thoughts. Therefore, if someone is

addicted to approval, he or she will have an abnormal concern and an excessive number of thoughts

about what people think of them.

To read the article in its entirety please copy and paste the following link in your browser: 

http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/EverydayAnswers/Pleasing+People/default.htm